I Have Herpes Also! (And I'm over it)

About 7 years ago I found out that I had Type 1 Herpes on my genitals. I was told over the phone that I tested positive and the woman I talked to didn't seem to have very much or very accurate information about what was happening to me.

I was scared and didn't know what to do. For the first time in my life I felt incredibly unsexy and worried that my sex life was over. I lived in fear of an outbreak because I was given no information about how to treat them. All I was told was that it is incurable. I looked online and saw photographs of grotesque open sores. This was not what I was experiencing, but I couldn't seem to find the information I needed. Was I misdiagnosed? What was going on?

Finally, I found an information booklet that talked more specifically about Type 1 herpes. Type 1 symptoms can appear to look like a small cut and were rare if recurrent at all. Despite a lack of serious symptoms, I was really scared about telling partners. Why would anyone sleep with me knowing the risk involved? How do you even start such an awkward conversation? Talk about killing the moment!

Over time, I became more and more ready to deal with my diagnosis. I started by telling a close friend, who surprisingly enough, had it too and had almost the exact experience that I did! It felt great to start disclosing my "dirty little secret" so I told more close friends. Most of them either had it, slept with someone who had it, had relatives who have it etc.

I thought other people would judge me and think I was disgusting. As it turned out, other people, including my sexual partners were kind and accepting and it was me who was judgmental and disgusted with myself. As I started to tell more people and more people were ok with it, I became more ok with it too. It took a long time but I can honestly say that I no longer feel like a slut or a sexual outcast. I have a boyfriend who loves and accepts me and finds me very sexy. He's been incredibly understanding from the beginning.

I have told partners who were less understanding. I think this mostly happens because they are misinformed or ignorant about Herpes and are scared. I think sometimes people want to be ok with it, but need a little bit of time to sort through their feelings and learn more about it.

As cheesy as it might sound, you are absolutely not alone! This is a widespread epidemic, we just don't realize how common it is because it's so difficult to talk about. Like any diagnosis, it takes awhile to accept it and in the beginning it can be really scary. My suggestions:

• Get information. There are Herpes hotlines where you can call and ask questions anonymously.
• Go to the people in your life who are understanding and tell them what you are going through. Often times, they will be more understanding than you might think.
• Be nice to yourself! You are not unlovable or bad because you have herpes!!!